Jasmine shared what she learned from going on 100 dates in London (Picture: Jasmine Wong Denike)
Dire, horrible and awful. These are just some of the adjectives used to sum up dating in London, in brutally honest comments posted on Reddit.
One particularly interesting post, that went viral last year, theorised a ‘great London dating mystery’. The author explained they couldn’t understand how the city was full of attractive, young professionals and yet ‘people still struggle to meet romantically’.
Overwhelming choice was deemed partly to blame, as well as people being short on time as living in London can be so hectic. The hustle and bustle left many without the ‘energy’ to use dating apps.
This doesn’t paint a very romantic picture of the capital, but that didn’t put off Jasmine Wong Denike, when she moved to London from Toronto, Canada.
The 30-year-old had been single for three months when she arrived on our shores in 2021, and now, she’s been on a staggering 100 dates in the capital.
But, contrary to popular opinion, she says the experience was a ‘huge success’.
When she first arrived, Jasmine wasn’t actually looking for a long-term thing, but she did want to get out, meet people and have a little fun – and after all, isn’t that what dating is all about?
Latest London news
I’m still shaking days after watching Stranger Things: The First Shadow
London’s most expensive home of 2023 comes with a ballroom and serious bragging rights
There’s a new busiest train station in London after 16 years
To get the latest news from the capital visit Metro.co.uk’s London news hub.
She told Metro.co.uk: ‘I wanted to actively stay single while I was in London — something about living in London for the first time, and wanting it to feel like home for me as opposed to it reminding me of someone.
‘I initially started dating in order to get to know the city, meet some new people, and try new restaurants, pubs, and bars that I wouldn’t normally have the opportunity to try or even know about if I didn’t meet these people.’
To find dates, she used apps such as Bumble, Hinge, Thursday, and the League, however, she says a few men did also slide into her DMs on TikTok and one ‘rogue’ suitor even asked her out via her business email. A very bold move indeed!
And now, hundreds of hours and countless bottles of wine later, she’s reached the huge milestone of 100 dates.
Of all the dates she’s been on, the most unusual took place at a Psycle spin class (his idea, not hers) and it was one of the very first dates she went on in London.
‘This was my first time doing a fitness first date,’ she says. ‘Psycle is so hard but so good.’
After the exercise class, they showered (separately, of course) and headed out for some coffee.
Top 5 lessons Jasmine learned from going on 100 dates in London
1. Try something new, together.
Try doing something neither one of you have done before – whether that be a pub that neither of you have visited, or an activity like mini golf or darts (I still haven’t been to Flight Club but it’s on my list!) so that you’re both starting off on a level playing field. Bonus: you get to see how that person handles being in a new environment!
2. Trust your gut above all else.
It doesn’t matter if this person ticks all your metaphorical boxes. If you find yourself convincing yourself to like them or overlook certain behaviours that you find unattractive (being rude to people in service or trolling people online for fun, for example) your gut is trying to tell you that this person probably won’t make you happy in the long run.
3. Try a “double tap” (as I like to call it).
If someone comes across as very nervous or you’re not 1000% sure about how you feel after a first date (but you still had a great time or enjoyed their company), there’s nothing wrong with going on a second date to “double tap” and be sure about how you feel.
4. Rejection is redirection.
It’s such a common saying now, but it’s true. If someone tells you that you aren’t for them, they’re giving you your time back. You don’t want to spend time with someone who you have to convince to spend time with you – and no one deserves to be strung along if the feelings aren’t there.
5. Dating should be fun.
So many people have asked me how I don’t find myself exhausted after dating, which is odd because I absolutely do. Dating can be very draining, especially if you’re an introvert, which is why it is so important to take breaks when dating doesn’t feel fun anymore. Breaks can be as long or as short as you’d like. I went on breaks multiple times over the course of a year because I needed to either move on from someone I had feelings for or because I just wanted to spend more time focusing on my friends.
‘We went to the Riding House Cafe to have some coffee… coffee turned into salad and salad turned into good life chats, but what was so great was that he made the plans and looked up places to go, which is something a lot of guys don’t do.’
The man in question became known as ‘Spin Guy’ on Jasmine’s TikTok, where she regularly shares a look at her dating life.
In follow-up videos, she told how they went to another workout class for their second date, this time heading to Barry’s Bootcamp. However, their third date was a more standard dinner, but once again he made all the plans.
The pair enjoyed hanging out, but their relationship didn’t go any further as neither were looking for anything more serious at the time.
Jasmine also fondly recalls a memorable date night from the start of 2022, which started at a pub in Exmouth Market.
‘I met this guy on Hinge and we didn’t talk for very long before deciding to meet up, which honestly I think is the best because you can just go and meet them, and figure out if you vibe,’ she explained.
‘We went to The Exmouth Arms and talked until the pub shut, and then he brought me to a Lucky Voice karaoke in Holborn. We stayed until around 3am. It was one of those dates you just didn’t want to end.’
She and ‘Karaoke Guy’ went on a few more fun nights out, including a third date that involved cocktails, a visit to Top Secret Comedy Club, dancing and a cheeky Maccies to end the night
However, he ultimately called things off as he had started seeing someone else and felt ‘guilty’ dating two people.
‘He handled things really well, was open and honest, and super respectful and thoughtful and we parted on good terms,’ Jasmine adds.
With the good came plenty of ghosting (on her part), a healthy dose of rejection (on both parts), as well as the struggle of figuring out how to communicate her needs and boundaries to other people.
But this is something she’s since figured out how to do, and as a result says she’ll ‘never settle’.
After going on more than five dates with one man, she knew she had to call time on things. as it was what was best for her.
‘After a lot of thought I ended things. I didn’t like how hot and cold he was being. Quite frankly, I don’t care how long we’ve been seeing each other, if he’s saying all the right things, but you still feel like an option, then his words don’t match his actions and it’s more than ok to set boundaries for yourself.’
At the end of 2022, after her first full year of dating in the capital, Jasmine put together a Dating Wrapped 2022 video for TikTok – a spoof of Spotify Wrapped. She revealed she’d been on a total of 63 dates that year, with 40 men who were from 14 different countries.
Of those dates, 40 were first dates, 12 were second, and six were third. One lucky man also made it all the way to the ninth date before they called it quits.
She went on to break down where she had met each of these men, before showing off a graph detailing which nights of the week she went on the most dates (Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursdays) and what time of day most dates occurred (evenings).
The video concluded with a hilarious speed round in which she shared a few random tidbits, including that she’d ‘cried over guys’ three times that year and had been catfished three times.
In total she’d spent a whopping 232.5 hours dating that year, which was time she would ‘never get back’. Despite this, she insisted she had ‘no regrets’.
But at the start of 2023, Jasmine decided to take a slightly different approach to dating.
Not every date was a ‘success’ but she has no regrets (Picture: Jasmine Wong Denike)
She added: ‘After dating a vast array of people from many different backgrounds, countries, jobs, and boroughs in London I went into dating in 2023 with much more intention.
‘I was able to date more mindfully and as I went on more and more dates, I noticed myself becoming more conscious of the type of person I’d want to spend my time with, as well as better valuing my time overall.’
And all the effort she’s put into dating has paid off, as this year she’s ended up meeting someone who she says has become ‘really important’ to her.
Known only as ‘the northern guy’ for the sake of his privacy, Jasmine has shared a few sweet updates about their relationship with her followers online — everything from meeting the parents for the first time, to cosy date nights cooking together at home.
‘It’s cuffing season and your girl is cuffed,’ she proclaimed happily in one video.
Now coupled up, Jasmine looks back fondly on her dating life.
‘From my very first date in London until now I can confidently say that I have met so many people that I wouldn’t normally have met, seen way more of the city than friends who’ve lived here for years, and now have an extensive list of pubs, bars and restaurants that I can refer to when friends ask me where to go.
‘Dating also helped me achieve a better understanding of what I was looking for in friends, in a partner, and in life.
‘Not every date was what I’d call a success, but I had many fun evenings spent with interesting people! So overall? I give the experience an 8/10.
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing [email protected].
MORE : Age gap relationships are set to be 2024’s biggest dating trend
MORE : Think dating is hard? Try being a single Muslim woman in the UK
‘There was a lot of trial and error.’
