I’d tried to give up smoking countless times, but I’d always lapsed (Picture: Nic Kane for Asthma + Lung UK)
‘Please help me end this,’ my mother, Gina, begged me and my siblings.
Squeezing her hand, I felt so hopeless as I watched her fighting for breath.
At 84, my poor mum was bed-bound and broken after struggling for four years with chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, commonly referred to as COPD.
It was November 2020, and we knew she didn’t have long.
COPD is a collective term for a group of lung conditions, including chronic bronchitis and emphysema, that make it hard to exhale air from the lungs. Symptoms include constant coughing, wheezing, excess mucus and fatigue.
According to the charity Asthma + Lung UK, 9 out of 10 people with the condition have a history of smoking. Mum had smoked all her life, and couldn’t stop – even then, when her lungs were failing her.
She’d always been so full of zest, working until she was 78 as she loved to keep busy. But over the last few years, her illness had completely robbed her of her sparkle and love of life.
I tried to visit when I could but by the beginning of 2021, I’d suddenly become tired and breathless. My GP arranged some cardio tests, and a couple of days after visiting Mum in February, I had a phone call from the practice nurse.
Saying goodbye was hard (Picture: Katy Brown)
‘It looks like you have COPD,’ she said flatly. ‘It’s probably because you smoked.’
I remember shock eclipsing any anger at the blunt way the news was delivered. I was only 63, how could I have COPD?
But I could hardly focus on my own health when Mum’s was so much worse. As her gasps for breath became weaker, she started smoking more than ever. It was her way of bringing her death closer and in the end, she passed away in March 2021.
Saying goodbye was hard. Despite the last difficult few years, she’d had a full and happy life right up until she hit 80. But now I was left wondering if I would be that lucky?
I was haunted by the fact that smoking had made me so ill.
I’d had my first cigarette with my sister at the bottom of the garden at just eight, and although I’d hated the taste at first, by the time I was a teenager, I was hooked.
Symptoms of COPD
A chesty, phlegmy cough that does not go away
Chest infections that occur regularly
Wheezing
You can find out more on the NHS website here
Over the six months after my diagnosis, breathlessness and fatigue floored me (Picture: Katy Brown)
Growing up in a working-class family in Corby, it seemed like everyone smoked. Of course, I was aware that cigarettes could cause lung cancer, but it seemed like such a slim chance. As for COPD? I don’t think I’d even heard of it until Mum became ill.
Over the years, I’d tried to give up smoking countless times, once for three years, but I’d always lapsed, usually on a night out with booze involved.
I finally quit in 2018 with the help of medication.
Over the six months after my diagnosis, breathlessness and fatigue floored me. It broke my heart, but I had to give up the job I loved as a nursery nurse. My husband Martin and I had planned to travel the world in our retirement, but my poor health made that impossible.
Still, I wasn’t going down without a fight. So, I decided to learn everything I could about COPD, and contacted the charity Asthma + Lung UK for information and support.
In the last two years, I have become something of a lung health warrior, fighting hard to get myself onto a course of pulmonary rehab. This is a six week personalised breathing and exercise course which gives you the tools to manage COPD.
I support the government’s plans to crack down on cigarettes (Picture: Nic Kane for Asthma + Lung UK)
COPD is progressive and incurable (Picture: Nic Kane for Asthma + Lung UK)
For me, it has been completely life-changing: I am more educated about my condition now, and I’ve found the right support as well as the confidence to start exercising again.
I’ve also joined a ‘singing for lung health’ class, which is incredibly uplifting and a Breathe Easy support group for people with lung conditions, which are both run by Asthma + Lung UK.
Around 1.4million people in England have a COPD diagnosis but there’s little awareness of the tell-tale symptoms of constant breathlessness, coughing, wheezing, and excess mucus. It’s as if there’s a conspiracy of silence around the condition – probably because of the stigma around smoking.
That’s why I support the government’s plans to crack down on cigarettes. Tobacco is an awful addiction, and if we can stop young people from smoking, then we can help to protect them from this dreadful disease.
Although I try to embrace every day, this illness has changed me. I used to be a go-getting dynamo; now I’m often so tired that I need a nap most afternoons.
Around 1.4million people in England have a COPD diagnosis (Picture: Nic Kane for Asthma + Lung UK)
There are half a million people with COPD who haven’t got a diagnosis and that’s a real cause for concern (Picture: Nic Kane for Asthma + Lung UK)
Winter is particularly hard as the cold air exacerbates my breathing, which makes me miserable and exhausted as I constantly feel like I have a heavy suitcase strapped to my chest. But I’m lucky compared to others.
I’m in relatively good shape and having a chronic condition has really focused my mind. I want to visit India and go on a trip to Los Angeles, and I’m determined to make those things happen sooner rather than later.
COPD is progressive and incurable, but your quality of life really depends on how extensive the lung damage is. Inhalers and other medication can help to manage the symptoms.
More from Platform
Platform is the home of Metro.co.uk’s first-person and opinion pieces, devoted to giving a platform to underheard and underrepresented voices in the media.
Find some of our best reads of the week below:
Metro’s resident wedding agony aunt Alison Rios McCrone dealt with another issue this week, with a bride-to-be shocked at her mum taking issue with how intense she was in planning her nuptials.
Emily Vaughn shares her truly harrowing story of being groomed and trafficked from the age of 14, and how she rebuilt her life after being forced to have sex with over 1,500 men.
When Celia Chartres-Aris was given a brilliant new job, she thought telling them about her disability would be just a formality – but in fact her job offer was withdrawn when she told her new employers about the adjustments they would have to make.
After decades battling a stammer following childhood trauma, things reached a breaking point for Jonathan Blair, who had been so ashamed of his speech impediment that he hadn’t even told his wife about his condition.
According to Asthma + Lung UK, there are half a million people with COPD who haven’t got a diagnosis and that’s a real cause for concern, especially as having an undiagnosed lung condition potentially increases someone’s risk of ending up in hospital with flu or Covid.
A recent report from the charity shows that missing out on a diagnosis makes people more vulnerable to complications with respiratory infections as they aren’t receiving vital medication and support.
Lung disease is the country’s third biggest killer, but it’s not taken seriously enough. We need more awareness, faster diagnosis and better services.
Otherwise, ordinary people like you and me run the risk of having our lives put on hold – and counting every breath as if it was our last.
Katy is urging people to contact to their MPs to ask them to support the government’s smokefree vote in the New Year Tell your MP to make smoking history.
For more information on COPD, visit www.asthmaandlung.org.uk or call the charity helpline on 0300 222 5800
Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing [email protected].
Share your views in the comments below.
MORE : Parents who lost 15-month-old son to undiagnosable lung condition launch charity in his name
MORE : Big Bang Theory star Kate Micucci diagnosed with lung cancer has ‘never smoked in her life’
MORE : Mum shares ‘frightening’ symptoms of white lung pneumonia after son falls ill
‘Please help me end this,’ my mother, Gina, begged me and my siblings.