Hollyoaks legend Nicole Barber-Lane shares anxiety fears over return after losing home

Nicole was in two minds over whether to return (Picture: Ray Burmiston)

Hollyoaks fans have been delighted to see the return of mischievously outrageous and fun-loving Myra McQueen.

But actress Nicole Barber-Lane was in two minds over whether to come back, citing doubts over her anxiety following difficult years that forced her to give up her home.

The ‘Oaks icon left the show in 2019, deciding at the time that she was closing the door on her memorable and popular character.

The plotline saw Myra leave the village after cheating on bride-to-be Sally St Claire (Annie Wallace).

Speaking to Metro.co.uk recently, Nicole confided that she never thought she’d step into the role again.

But viewers are glad she did, as it was a lovely surprise to see the character step out of one of the crashed cars during an hour-long special’s stunt, tipped to be the beginning of a new era for the soap which had been considered troubled.

Nicole’s theatre work took a huge hit thanks to Covid (Picture: Ray Burmiston)

‘I did actually have very very big anxieties about coming back here,’ she admitted in a candid chat with us. ‘Being here, you don’t ever know when it’s ending so you don’t have any control of your life, type of thing.

‘I have had a lot of anxious issues and going through the menopause, that highlighted stuff.  

‘So I have been in a very delicate place since Covid and had a lot of personal changes. I couldn’t afford to stay in the house that I’d lived in for a long time when Covid hit because I was actually doing touring theatre – and then nothing.

‘As you know, the theatre took a big hit with Covid, so that kept getting postponed when I was supposed to be going back. So, in the end I did have to give up the family home and move into somewhere smaller. So it’s been massive changes for me.’

Back for a short stint, Nicole is open to a further comeback if it goes down well with the audience, but she does now have acting commitments that it would have to fit around.

But revisiting Myra did come with conditions as she knew that she would have to prioritise her health.

She told us: ‘I can say that my concerns for my mental health and wellbeing were spoken about with the team here. We worked schedules in so I could have support and deliver what they needed because being in a soap is very pressured, but I had so much support that I was able to do it.

‘And the likes of Duncan Foster doing the directing meant that he knows what he wants, we know what we’re doing.

‘Working with the likes of Jen (Metcalfe, who plays Mercedes McQueen) and Jamie Lomas (Warren Fox), all the McQueens, they know what they’re doing, so it meant I was in a safe place and I was in a safe environment, so that was great.

‘I did feel supported all the way, which was really one of the key factors in me being able to come back. A lot of people talk about health and support but when you actually see it put in place it really means something, so that did mean a lot to me.’  

The gang is back together (Picture: Lime Pictures)

Nicole describes her alter-ego as ‘madcap’ – and she has a point! (Picture: Lime Pictures)

She continued: ‘I thought, I don’t know how I’m going to cope with this, the pressure’s going to be too much, but because I had support I could cope with it. For me that was a really, really big thing, being supported in the job to enable me to concentrate on the lines or the performance.

‘I would work with [director] Duncan Foster for a whole day. That doesn’t sound a lot, but when you’re constantly on, it is. But because he knew what he was doing and he knew where he was shooting and he knew what was happening, I still had energy at the end of the day.

‘Whereas in different circumstances maybe with a different team, even here, you feel drained because it’s not as coherent.’ 

Nicole couldn’t be having more fun being back in ‘madcap’ Myra’s shoes, and she has teased fans that her alter-ego has a big secret, so there is plenty of intrigue to be had.

Thrust straight back into the action! (Picture: Lime Pictures)

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But away from it all, the actress has ways of switching off and looking after herself.

Describing her methods of winding down and deploying self-care, she shared: ‘What I do realise is that when I start over-thinking. I need to get out into nature. So I’ll go for a walk. Being in the woods, being with nature, by a stream, just makes me feel so much better.  Walking my dog is just one of the great pleasures.

‘I like listening to podcasts. In fact I’m doing a podcast. I’m actually doing a local radio station on the third Sunday of every month on Radio Warrington. I try and do a self help type of thing, about self love.’

Detailing the project, which she brands therapeutic, Nicole added: ‘This month’s will be about passion and purpose. It’s great because it’s the new year, so what is your passion? And I had a little meltdown, didn’t I, because I thought “What’s my passion?  What’s my purpose?” I had to get out and go for a walk, get to the trees.

‘I thought “Don’t panic. It’s ok. You still don’t know what your passion and purpose is!” I’m still searching but it’s ok. I’ve heard a lot about vulnerability and being courageous in the way you’re vulnerable. I thought that’s very interesting.

‘So when I’m thinking about this radio show, even though it’s two hours and it’s just on the local radio station, it means a lot.

‘I put a lot of effort into it because I believe whoever’s listening, I might be able to help one person and that’s enough.’

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