The Glastonbury 2024 line-up was a catastrophic flop. There, I said it.
I was in the crowd when Dua Lipa lit up the Pyramid Stage with her party anthems, and – don’t get me wrong – the 29-year-old Houdini hit-maker is a queen. Her songs are decent, likeable, and popular.
She’s also very famous, giving her just enough ammunition to make her worthy of the Glastonbury headliner title, which is not an honour many artists can claim.
But she’s not a band – and that’s where the problem lies for me. A band needs that very top spot to harness exactly what Glastonbury is all about.
I believe that no solo artist can ever live up to it.
The best moments in Glastonbury history haven’t come from a perfect falsetto or an impressively flexible dance move. They’ve come from generational anthems from renowned bands.
I’m talking about Blur’s iconic set at sundown in 1994, where they headlined the NME stage (now the Other Stage), before going on to Pyramid Stage heights in 1998 and 2009. The first few guitar strums were enough to let everyone in the crowd know they were in the right place that evening.
Or the Foo Fighters in 2017 – 20 years after they last played there – with the band all alive and together before Taylor Hawkins’ death in 2022. After an almost acoustic Times Like These opening from Dave Grohl, the festival erupted into head-banging pandemonium as the rest of the band came out of the shadows to complete what was a legendary set.
Who can forget the chaotic set from Radiohead in 1997 when everything technical broke – and they later conceded it was the ‘worst night of their lives’ – but it went down in history as a musical masterpiece. They didn’t rest on the laurels of a poppy chorus, but flew on the back of each musical element ringing out into the field.
These performances shine when the guitar solos from band members are like a never-ending bolt of atmospheric lightning. And that’s the true nature of Glastonbury.
I’ve only been to Glastonbury once – this year after what seems like my whole adult life of trying and failing to bag tickets. It was incredible, but my first let down came when I saw the lacklustre line up. I wanted these epic Pyramid Stage moments I’d watched over and over again online to play out in real life – but they didn’t.
I really can’t remember any defining Dua Lipa goosebump moments – but while watching Black Pumas, Britney Howard – of Alabama Shakes – and the mighty LCD Soundsystem, there they were.
At the end of my four days in the iconic fields in the south-west of England, my mind was made up.
Save Shania Twain – who gave a shaky but enjoyable Sunday afternoon performance to a mighty crowd – there were no true legends. Sure, Coldplay filled the field alright, but they’ve also headlined the festival the most out of anyone ever. How dull.
I went to Glastonbury for the first time in 2024, and wanted the band experience
It was the most fun of my life, but the line-up was missing that Glastonbury wow-factor
SZA was an unfair choice, as she was thrust into the headline slot and attracted a measly crowd due to no fault of her own. While Glastonbury boss Emily Eavis was championing her for her undeniable talent, she can’t expect the country to miraculously follow her lead and feel the same way.
It wasn’t fair on ticket holders – who get those golden passes under the promise this will be an unbeatable lineup – and it’s not fair on SZA, who likely looked out onto the peppering of people with a sinking feeling in her stomach.
I’d argue that some of our most legendary performers in this country are bands – like The Cure, and those historic icons Fleetwood Mac, and The Rolling Stones, who are still around and kicking. So we should be properly utilising them.
Of course, there are so many stages with brilliant acts, if the headliners aren’t tickling a fancy. But every headliner should really be creating a Glastonbury-worthy buzz – enough of a rumble to justify the festival being broadcast around the world.
You know what creates meaningful noise and an unrivalled viewing experience? A band.
I’m sorry, but Dua’s set felt like it was her concert, not a part of Glastonbury history. It wasn’t the gig spectacle that band members jamming on stage can emulate, or the irreplaceable music magic that’s created from a line-up of three, four or five incredible musicians.
Dua reciting her pop songs with a flashy backdrop, loads of dancers and clubby lights didn’t feel aligned with Glastonbury’s soul.
So I say: Bring back the bands like Rolling Stones, Radiohead, and Fleetwood Mac, who are making music on stage and experimenting with it as they go. Not just singing along.
Credit where credit is due, the very best performance of 2024 was LCD Soundsystem on the Pyramid Stage at sunset. It’s a band of sometimes little words but a whole lot of feels.
The guitar chords of their song Oh Baby ebbed out into the audience like a warm breeze, while the minutes-long wordless introduction of All My Friends left goosebumps before it’d even kicked in.
We need more from Glastonbury. I need to hear the gnarly guitar solos, bashing piano keys, and the feel that music – not just chart-toppers – is what’s valued here.
Perhaps it’s our musical climate that’s to blame. More and more, we seem to obsess over solo artists these days – like Charli XCX, Chappell Roan, Harry Styles, and Sabrina Carpenter – than we do about the joy of seeing a band ebbing and flowing in harmony.
Enough of popstar fawning, I say.
Give me Fleetwood Mac, The Rolling Stones, Evanescence, Paramore, The Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Kings of Leon, Electric Light Orchestra, The Cure, Radiohead and Bon Jovi at the top of the bill in the coming years.
So my message to Emily Eavis is that there are headline-worthy bands out there (who aren’t Coldplay) and we should be booking them for the top spots at Glastonbury.
The festival’s soul depends on it.
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