Dear Yasmin Benoit: How do I navigate a world obsessed with sex as an asexual?

Yasmin Benoit is here to answer your question! (Picture: PA/Sophia Paget)

Model, activist and author Yasmin Benoit is a prominent voice in the LGBTQ+ community after publicly coming out as aromantic-asexual in 2017.

She went on to start the #ThisIsWhatAsexualLooksLike movement for diverse asexual visibility and representation as well as co-founded International Asexuality Day (which falls on April 6).

Yasmin began modelling at age 18, and has been featured in a wide range of media outlets.

In June 2021, she won an Attitude Pride Award for her activism, and just last year launched the UK’s first asexual rights initiative in partnership with Stonewall.

Today, she takes on the role of Metro’s Agony Aunt, and is here to answer your question.

Yasmin came out as aromantic-asexual in 2017 (Picture: PA)

Dear Yasmin, I wanted to ask how to navigate a world obsessed with sex when you are asexual.

I’m someone who doesn’t want to have sex but I’ve had experiences where people act like I must be just be playing hard to get. It can be scary sometimes.

Any advice?

It can definitely be scary and the world can be hard to navigate sometimes! Unfortunately, there are always going to be people who don’t take no for an answer whether you’re asexual or not.

There are also going to be people who don’t respect or understand your identity, and there will be aspects of our culture that don’t reflect our priorities. That’s beyond our control. All we can really do is try to take as much control as possible.

Navigate the world according to what fulfils you and limit your exposure to things that make you uncomfortable. Try to tailor your company and your environments as much as you can!

There are some places where you’re more likely to be hit on than others, like bars and clubs (overrated locations, in my opinion). Cafes, parks, galleries, or just more sober spots are much better for meeting like-minded people and avoiding the weirdos.

If you’re trying to navigate dating, do so in more platonic-oriented situations and build it up from there. Aim for mutuals rather than strangers, as they’re a bit less likely to disrespect your boundaries. Don’t be afraid to assert those, if you seem confident in your asexuality then others are more inclined to take you seriously.

The world can often feel completely sex-obsessed depending on what you consume. There’s so many hobbies, books, and films that aren’t all centred around sex and people out there who don’t care much about it either, whether they’re asexual or not. You just have to find them and make less conventional choices.

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Yasmin has the answer!