Big Brother is triggering for people like me – it needs to change

It’s exactly this hyper-focus on eating which makes for such uncomfortable and triggering viewing(Picture: ITV)

I wouldn’t survive 24 hours in the Big Brother house, but not for the reason you’d think. 

The boredom, the complete isolation from social media, the lack of mental stimulation and essentially living in a goldfish bowl for six weeks while the general public gets control over your fate – that I could do. 

But the one thing that would send my brain into meltdown, lead to emotional outbursts in the Diary Room and potential eternal nomination from my fellow housemates, would be the food.

From arguments over the shopping list to housemates being granted takeaways if they win tasks, it feels like food is used as both a reward and a punishment within the confines of the Big Brother house.

And it’s exactly this hyper-focus on eating which makes for such uncomfortable and triggering viewing for fans like me who are in active recovery from an eating disorder.

I struggled with disordered behaviours since the age of nine, and even now in my mid-20s I still face new issues every day.

I can only imagine how it would feel to be in that house. To be without regimented meal plans, safe foods, and access to support when needed.

Matty’s experience is not the first time we’ve seen the words eating disorders and Big Brother uttered in the same sentence (PIcture: ITV)

That’s why I found it so heartbreaking when, in this series, we witnessed not only how Matty’s housemates gossiped behind his back about how much he eats but how dismissive Kerry was of his feelings.

While Matty didn’t explicitly reveal he had an eating disorder, he discussed people having a complicated history with food. He reminded Kerry that it’s impossible to know a person’s life story just by observing them and politely urged her to be more considerate with her language.

This discussion had such potential. To open a dialogue about eating disorders and make the subject less taboo. 

Instead, Kerry completely shut him down.

The 40-year-old NHS worker grew defensive, taking it almost as a personal attack and trying to argue her case for talking behind Matty’s back instead of offering him comfort.

She became, in my view, manipulative, belittling Matty to make him feel as though he was making a big deal out of nothing. And, though I was proud he rejected Kerry’s offer of a hug, my heart was aching as I watched him walk out of that kitchen.

Like Matty, I, too, have been shut down, ignored, made to feel like I am the problem, blamed for burdening others with my struggles making me question why I even bothered reaching out.

Seeing him try to open up to someone who, even more worryingly, actually works in healthcare, was just a reminder that the world is a grim place for people with eating disorders. 

Nowhere in their application forms do they sign up to have their calorie intake scrutinised by strangers

Matty’s experience is not the first time we’ve seen the words eating disorders and Big Brother uttered in the same sentence either.

One of the greatest ever Big Brother stars, Nikki Grahame, died in 2021 at the tender age of 38, following a years-long struggle with anorexia.

In 2010, during her stint on the ‘Ultimate’ edition of the show, she seemed to speak positively about her outlook on life, telling Vanessa Feltz: ‘So what if I put on weight? I’m having the time of my life being in here.’

However, that same year she also spoke frankly about her struggles while on TV, and how, despite the fact that she adored Big Brother with her whole heart, it certainly came with obstacles.

I’d never sensationalise Nikki’s devastating story to make a point, but it does show that, even 13 years on, we still have a long way to go.

I wish I could speak directly to Kerry and others with similar opinions and make them realise how monumental it is to tackle Big Brother as someone with a complicated food relationship.

To tell them of the potential triggers that come as a result of not having set mealtimes, having zero control over the food shop, not always having access to comfort foods, and the possibility of certain things being snatched away at any moment. 

And how for someone with that history to even apply for a social experiment which is known for its shopping list quarrels, for its hierarchical shopping tasks – where the ‘rich’ are given luxuries while the ‘poor’ make do with basic rations – and generally meal-centric tasks, is a major marker in his supposed recovery.

Of course, Big Brother is not alone in using food as a bounty. We see it year on year in I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here!, where campmates are subliminally told that achievement in physical challenges equals being worthy of eating well that day. 

I just wish that things as basic as food and water – which no human should ever have to ‘earn’ or be made to feel ‘worthy’ of – were never used as ways of maintaining a hold over anyone. 

Yes, Big Brother is brilliant, it’s hilarious, it’s intriguing, and it’s fascinating, but it is all of those things because of the people and the environment they are in.

Nowhere in their application forms do they sign up to have their calorie intake scrutinised by strangers or meals and snacks controlled by some higher power.

When those things happen, it feels incredibly dystopian and much less like a reality TV show I want to watch.

Do you have a story you’d like to share? Get in touch by emailing [email protected]. 

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This hyper-focus makes for such uncomfortable, triggering viewing.