In hindsight, it wasn’t funny when comedian Lou Sanders was flashed in a park by a man. But more on that later.
For those who missed the memo, 46-year-old Lou – whose age has historically been on Wikipedia as younger – has become one of the most lovable comedians on the British scene with numerous panel show stints on QI, Would I Lie To You? as well as Live At The Apollo.
She also won Taskmaster – no biggie – and was partnered with Brendyn Hatfield on the 2024 series of Dancing On Ice, in which she finished eighth, skidding off the success of her Instagram roller-skating antics.
Lou has a knack for luring audiences into her almost cutesy, daft persona – her website begins with, ‘Hello my little ducky egg’ – before ripping it to shreds by saying something deliciously wry.
While I consider Lou a charming, haphazard presence in a fabulous faux-fur jacket, I imagine many men have probably smiled and nodded along to Lou’s endearing, hurried tone without actually listening to the wise words she’s saying.
She is a delight. But the stranger in the park, we ponder while sitting in the rooftop bar of a members club on The Strand… not so much.
At the time there was a tickle of hilarity at the aforementioned flasher’s penis out in the open, Lou initially admits to Metro, before conceding: ‘I actually didn’t think it was funny, I thought it was pretty gross.
‘But what I didn’t realise at the time is that flashing does lead to other stuff.’
We spoke to Lou shortly before launching our This Is Not Right campaign to highlight the epidemic of violence against women in the UK, and she had some insightful thoughts, as usual – and revealed that she filmed the man in the park.
‘Not for my own personal collection, but more to scare him,’ she says. ‘That’s a good thing to do because they do run off. Then you’ve got evidence.’
Flashing is not the most serious crime of violence against women, but it’s one that is a symptom of the same mindset that justifies rape and sexual assault, classed a national emergency in the UK.
‘It’s like if you get a d**k picture, you think, “Oh it’s not that offensive,” but it’s trying to make you feel a certain way and it is fear inducing,’ Lou says.
‘It’s like, “I will get into your inbox and your head with something that can be a weapon.” You know? The penis can be a weapon.’
It’s a chilling thought.
Lou has also experienced those charming explicit pictures in her inbox. A particularly harrowing instance immediately pops into her mind.
‘It was so offensive on so many levels. Mainly the bedding. It was like this not even fully erect penis. I was like, how dare you think I’m in the calibre of receiving an average penis with terrible bedding?’ quips Lou.
However, jokes aside, what Lou couldn’t escape was the enormity of what was going on at the time; this horrendous act happened the same week as news broke of another woman’s murder in the capital.
Turning serious, she adds that she ‘sent him a really considerate reply’.
While Lou tried to get this man to see the inappropriateness of his action – especially in such a climate where women were fearing for their safety – she failed miserably.
‘His response? “Sorry you felt this way.” Some people you can’t reach. It’s like, wow, no responsibility. Unbelievable. Also get some bedding, you’re a f**ing man.’
Lou is fearlessly honest and impressively fluent in her ideas about the world. And, of course, she is hilarious, something that will no doubt be proven (again) when she takes to the stage for her upcoming tour No Kissing In The Bingo Hall.
This Is Not Right
On November 25, 2024 Metro launched This Is Not Right, a year-long campaign to address the relentless epidemic of violence against women.
Throughout the year we will be bringing you stories that shine a light on the sheer scale of the epidemic.
With the help of our partners at Women’s Aid, This Is Not Right aims to engage and empower our readers on the issue of violence against women.
It’s going to be a ‘silly’ one, Lou says. I don’t blame her: Lou must be in need of some light relief after writing her memoir, What’s That Lady Doing?
‘Raw,’ is the wrong word, I’m told. The wounds she wrote about were healed.
‘It was cathartic to write, but not painful,’ Lou says.
Okay then – it was honest. Astonishingly so. Lou put everything on the page it seems, binning silly for sobering (literally, she got sober) – with a heavy sprinkling of lols along the way.
From leaving home at 15, to her late ADHD diagnosis, and from alcoholism to comedy, she’s been through a lot.
The most shocking pages were Lou’s harrowing account of her experience of rape by a medical professional abroad who offered to drive her home from hospital.
It’s a brave story to tell the world. And it came along with a string of other terrifying accounts of assaults. One was in broad daylight by a stranger who pinned her down in the middle of the street.
Learn more about rape in the UK
According to Rape Crisis, 6.5million women in England and Wales have been raped or sexually assaulted, but 5 in 6 women don’t report rape
The number of sexual offences in England and Wales reached a record high of 193,566 in in the year ending March 2022
UCL research found that rape offences have the highest not guilty plea rate of any offence (85%) and this has been the case consistently for 15 years
ONS data reveals almost half of all rapes are perpetrated by a woman’s partner or ex-partner, and End Violence Against Women have said that the victim knows the perpetrator in 85% of cases
The ONS also found that more than 1 in 5 victims were unconscious or asleep when they were raped
‘I think some people don’t think it’s common. And I would argue that most women have experienced some degree of sexual assault,’ she asserts.
‘Even if they think they haven’t, if you think harder, you probably have.’
It’s a bleak sentence.
In England and Wales, according to Rape Crisis, 6.5million women over the age of 16 have been raped or sexually assaulted. Many women don’t report these crimes. Why would they? Around 3% of reported rapes in 2023 ended in conviction.
All the while, violence against women is getting worse. Between 2018 and 2023, there was a 37% increase in violent crimes against women.
‘A while ago me and some girlfriends were all talking,’ Lou explains, ‘and everyone’s like, “Yeah, I’ve been raped,” or “I’ve had this”, or “I’ve had that”, and then one girl was like, “I honestly don’t think I have. I’ve been so lucky.”
‘And then she’s like, “Oh, no. There was a man that ran after me trying to get me in his van once.” If you dig deep enough there will be something.’
Hence Lou’s candid account in her memoir.
‘I wanted to write about it because it’s part of life unfortunately, and that doesn’t seem to be ever fading,’ she says.
‘We have to talk about every facet of life so people know it isn’t just women being hysterical or whatever.
‘We never used to talk about periods, and that’s saying it is shameful. But if we talk about it’s not shameful.’
Comedians on the whole have experienced a rise in threats of violence from audience members in recent years, as Metro investigated earlier this year.
But as with many other industries, the situation seems worse for women. They have to get home from work in the dark.
Lou was at a gig in Reading a few years ago, and was heading out to the artist’s carpark when she spotted a man from the audience loitering there.
‘He knew that I was going down there to the car and he was hammered. He’d been annoying in the show,’ she remembers.
‘I didn’t want to go down there, because it’s very dark and scary. I was with this mother and daughter, and we looked at each other, and we’re like, “This isn’t good.”
‘They said they would come down there with me. And then we all got spooked, and I went back up.
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‘I was trying to get someone to go down with me from the management but the theatre was closed and I needed to get back. So I was like, f**k it, I’m going.
‘He was hiding behind a wall, and then I got in my car and he ran at me,’ Lou recalls.
Safely managing to lock her car door behind her, Lou rolled down the window and shouted: ‘You do NOT follow women to car parks.’
‘Then I sort of reversed… sort of into him,’ she says, casually.
A few months later Lou returned to the venue and was told he’d been arrested for flashing at another female comedian.
‘Yeah, so that’s not ideal,’ Lou trails off…
It’s not ideal at all. Far from it.
‘All women have likely experienced sexual assault, they may just not realise it’