I slowly transformed into Santa Claus himself (Picture: Susannah Ireland)
Ah, Christmas. That time of year when you find yourself rushing around buying present you’ve left too late to buy, over indulging on roast turkey, and trying to, dare I say it, relax.
It’s also the season when thousands of people don the familiar red and white robe and bushy fake beard (or real if you can grow one).
But did you know there’s a school dedicated to ushering in the next generation of ‘Santa Clauses’?
Believe it or not there is a certain knack to the art only a rare few people can master.
This year Ministry of Fun celebrates its 25th anniversary and a host of trainee Santas gathered at Battersea Power Station on a cold, wet, winter morning to learn how to be the man himself.
Student Santas are taught everything about the job, including history, character, costume, the voice, make-up and – most importantly of all – role play. At the end of the training, there is a Santa Graduation Day where students receive a certificate if they have passed.
Ministry of Fun director Matt Grist has the role of training the next batch.
Matt and the team ensure around 55 Santas make it to the hundreds of grottos across the UK.
When my editor asked me to go along and try out being Santa for the morning I thought: ‘What a piece of Christmas cake’.
The professional gathering of the trainee Santas is a very serious business (Picture: Susannah Ireland)
I got to drink hot chocolate as the different Santas showed me the ways of the world (Picture: Susannah Ireland)
I was shocked to find the reflection of a large old man staring back at me in the mirror following my transformation (Picture: Susannah Ireland)
How wrong was I. Not only do you have to be jolly for hours on end, you have to master a perfect low ‘ho, ho, ho’.
It’s certainly a lot harder than it sounds.
I, as a 27-year-old male journalist who is on the slightly skinnier side of Mr Claus himself and struggles to bellow a deep ‘ho, ho, ho’, definitely felt the pressure.
It’s not to say I dislike Christmas – that’s far from the case.
I was a big believer in Santa Claus as a child.Right up until the age of 10 when my parents burst that magical bubble. It left me in floods of tears.
But for all my youthful enthusiasm for Christmas, my mind went blank when I was asked to name all the reindeers, recite carols, and how Santa should address a child.
Different Santas managed to perfect their low and loud ‘ho, ho, ho’ (Picture: Susannah Ireland)
We also learnt about the latest trendy toys children will ask for this year (Picture: Susannah Ireland)
It was an action-packed day for all involved (Picture: Susannah Ireland)
Afterwards we all enjoyed a hot chocolate and a relax (Picture: Susannah Ireland)
The most sought after Santas are, unsurprisingly, males over the age of 35 with a deep voice, and who are able to cope with both the demands of parents and children.
So when Matt dressed me up into Santa Claus himself I was quite taken aback by the results.
No longer was the Jasper I know so well staring back at me in the mirror, but an elderly, overweight, rather jolly old man.
The power of a bit of makeup, a £1,000 Santa Claus suit, complete with a moustache, hair, Santa hat and even some boots certainly worked wonders.
I looked the part – but I didn’t feel the part.
The lessons on how to be a proper Santa were possibly the hardest part of the day.
The Santa suit includes some intricate details (Picture: Susannah Ireland)
By the end of the transformation I was the spitting image of Santa Claus himself (Picture: Susannah Ireland)
Who knew that a well-trained Santa should not ask a child their name?
And they should never promise a child every present they wish for because even Santa Claus can’t work miracles.
Instead, Santa should always say: ‘I’ll see what I can do.’
We were also taught sign language for popular sayings like, ‘Who have you brought along with you today’, and ‘I’ll see what I can do,’ and ‘I hope you have a nice day’.
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‘The Santa School is an important part of the year where our trainees learn the ins and outs as to how to be a proper Santa in a grotto’, Matt told Metro.
‘The skills they learn are absolutely vital in differentiating from Santas who are not up to scratch with the latest skills, trends and attributes of what makes a great Santa.
‘Our aim is to always make sure both parents and children come away from visiting Santa feeling like they have experienced the true meaning of Christmas.’
After a pretty full-on morning of learning how to be Santa I sat down with some of the other trainees and enjoyed a nice cup of warm hot chocolate.
I think next Christmas I’ll just sit behind the scenes and enjoy the hot chocolate instead.
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The £1,000 suit left me all hot and sweaty.