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Dating was supposed to get me out of my comfort zone. To help me do something a bit different.

As someone who continued to work remotely post-Covid and lives alone, it is easy to lose social interaction.

So, having never been on an official date, I signed up to various apps to get me out of the house, help me meet new people – and maybe, if I was lucky, find ‘the one’. 

But I never seemed to get far. Girls wouldn’t reply to my messages or conversations would fizzle out. It was all so disappointing.

So when I met up with a bunch of old colleagues, and they asked me if I was seeing anyone, I told them that I’d put looking for a partner on hold. 

They then mentioned a girl they knew, Sophie*, and how they could set us up. 

‘Just write down a few lines about yourself,’ they told me. ‘We’ll ask her to do the same – and if you like the sound of each other, we’ll arrange a blind date.’ 

On paper, Sophie sounded lovely, and we seemed to share things in common. 

She described herself as, ‘kind, spiritual and a big believer in emotional growth as a human being’, while I said I was generally open-minded, curious and a mix between being thoughtful, but also extroverted when I wanted to be. 

We met at the Ivy restaurant in Kensington, which I chose. It was the first date that I had been on and I wanted to show her I was taking the date seriously, to make a good impression. 

The Ivy doesn’t have a large waiting area, so I was hoping we’d arrive at the same time to avoid me either looking like a sad singleton or leaving her waiting. 

Fortunately, ‘perfect timing’ prevailed, and we met at the reception. I was bowled over by what I saw. 

She had beautiful curly blonde hair, wore a blue and cream outfit, and had a warm, friendly smile. I settled on a neutral handshake because I didn’t want to risk starting the date on the wrong foot.

We walked to our seats and I breathed a sigh of relief. I had passed the first hurdle. I had not been stood up – that had been my worst fear. 

As we looked at the menus, we both agreed to bypass the starters and head straight to the main course. I told her that I would pay for the meal and that she could order whatever she wanted.  

After studying the menu, Sophie ordered vegetarian food. To match, I ordered a meat-free curry. 

While we waited, we began to tell each other about our interests and jobs. I tried to strike a careful balance between not talking too much but not coming across as shy. 

I listened in awe as she told me how she’d travelled the world as a model and actress, as well as her hobbies and interests. We both liked football, which helped. 

Sophie said that she was preparing to take on a new acting role in theatre and that her ability to speak several languages had helped her land more auditions. 

As our meals arrived and we started to eat, I complimented her on how impressed I was that she had established a career in not one, but two highly competitive industries. 

But rather than thanking me, Sophie’s face sank. 

After a few beats of silence, she admitted that her modelling work was not anything to shout about. She hadn’t done any lucrative high-end photoshoots. In fact, she had uploaded most of her images on her website in the hope of attracting the attention of modelling agencies.

My heart went out to her so much that it didn’t occur to me to feel angry that she’d lied to me. In fact, if anything this made her feel more human. She was going through what many of us go through – rejection and trying to build a good life for ourselves. 

‘I’m only really here because I’m broke and it was a chance to get a free lunch’, she said

Although I empathised with her, by this point, I felt more like we were both in a counselling session than on a date. It wasn’t so much a conversation as her talking her problems through and asking my professional advice as a public relations agent on how to market herself better.

Even so, I’d decided I wanted to ask her on a second date. But when I finally got up the courage to ask she shot me down.

It was gentle at first, as she told me she wasn’t looking for a long-term relationship because she was going to Los Angeles to pursue work projects.

It seemed a reasonable enough explanation, but I wasn’t convinced, especially as it had felt like she was perhaps checking out other men in the restaurant several times throughout our date, which is a bit of a red flag.

Then, she must have felt either sorry for me or felt a sudden attack of conscience, because she decided to confess her real intentions behind our date.

‘To be honest Samson, I’m only really here because I’m broke and it was a chance to get a free lunch. Plus, our friends paid me to come’ she said.

I nearly choked on the water I was sipping. However, instead of feeling upset or cross, I simply told her not to worry about it. I mean, what else could I do?

Besides, after hearing her stunning revelations, my mind had mentally checked out of the date anyway.

With the atmosphere sufficiently soured, we both agreed to cut the date short and skip the desserts.

I kept up my end of the deal, paid for the meal. Then, just as we had started the date, we shook hands and went our separate ways.

On reflection, I had every right to be annoyed. But instead I chose to be
philosophical about our meeting. 

Going on the date had meant I’d travelled into London, felt energised for the change of scenery and enjoyed some nice food. And because I rarely ate out, I could handle paying for my date’s meal, even if she hadn’t been entirely honest with me. 

Plus, it did make me realise how much my friends care about my love life. Despite their lack of judgement, they had the best of intentions.

We’ve since discussed the ‘incident’, of course, and they have agreed to never pay a woman to go on a date with me again.

Still, I think it will be a while until I agree to another blind date.

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On top of that, she confessed that she was broke and agreed to the date for the free lunch.