Asking For A Friend: Is it okay to decline my boss’ friend request?

Social media blurs the boundaries between professional and personal (Picture: Getty Images)

Asking For A Friend is the series where we answer the questions you don’t want to ask.

There are two types of people in this world: those who befriend their co-workers, and those who would rather lick mold than spend more than 10 minutes with one of their colleagues outside of their nine to five.

It can be particularly challenging when you’re the latter, and it’s even more awkward when your boss is the one trying to take your relationship out of the office, and into the real world. 

And as with any blossoming friendship, things often start with a social media follow. 

But what do you do if your boss follows you on social media and your finger automatically hovers over the ‘reject’ button?

Is it okay to decline? Should you block them? Or are you expected to have an adult conversation about it?

As social connections with our colleagues and bosses become more normalised, Claire McLean, CEO of Realise HR, tells Metro.co.uk that the way we use social media is becoming a bit more blurred.

‘Social media is blurring the lines between the personal and professional as we often share both aspects of our lives across different platforms,’ she says.

‘For a manager to follow you on social media, I would expect there to be a conversation that has led to this, otherwise this could be awkward and out of the blue.’

What to do if your boss follows you on social media

Confront the issue head on

In theory, the best thing to do in this situation is to speak to your boss in person and tell them that you don’t want to have colleagues on social media. 

‘I would always advise people to try and have a calm, adult conversation with their manager if they feel comfortable doing so,’ says Claire.

If you’re happy to, she adds that you could ask your boss to follow you on a more work-geared and professional platform, like LinkedIn or possibly Twitter, if you primarily use it for work.

Hide your content

Realistically, you might feel too awkward to tell your boss that you don’t want them to follow your social media up front. In that case, you could just accept them but block them from seeing your content. They’ll have no idea. 

‘If an employee is worried about their boss not understanding or appreciating the online version of themselves, they can always hide those updates from their boss’ feed when sharing,’ says Claire. 

Ask HR to help

If all else fails, you could ask the Human Resources (HR) department to intervene, or ask another colleague to help you with the conversation. 

‘The HR team is there to help facilitate conversations that aren’t always easy to have,’ she says. 

‘They could sit down with you and your manager to discuss the matter further and ensure there is understanding on both sides.’ 

‘But the most important point is to deal with it and not let it fester.’ 

Can you really block and delete?