IVF, money and me: ‘I’ve spent over £30k trying to have a baby’

Lorna Watkins and her husband Jason had been trying for a baby for a year and a half when they decided to go to their GP for advice.

After a series of tests, the couple received heartbreaking news. 

Lorna, a teacher from Newport, had been diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve and was told by doctors that IVF would be her only chance at having the family she and Jason had always wanted. 

While the couple had an idea of what fertility treatment would entail, they were certainly not prepared for the added pressure of paying for it during the cost of living crisis. Lorna and Jason weren’t given any rounds on the NHS – they had to fund all their treatment because they were advised it would be 18 months before they could see the gynaecologist to find out if they could qualify for IVF.

‘We were told it would be unlikely because my AMH was so low. I assumed IVF would work for us but when our first round was unsuccessful, it hit us hard,’ Lorna tells metro.co.uk. 

‘We knew the odds were very much against us, so I did some more research and went back to the NHS to ask them if we could have funding. We were told we’d have to wait for 18 months to find out if we were eligible.’

A survey carried out by Fertility Network UK last year revealed that 1 in 10 couples spent more than £30,000 on fertility treatment – some (0.5%) spent over £100,000. 

While the current economic climate is already making things difficult for couples who want to start a family – 49% of women are already reportedly putting off having a child because of it – for those who are also having to navigate the emotional, mental and physical impact that comes with fertility treatment, the pressure is tenfold. 

‘We pulled together our savings, maxed out credit cards and even borrowed from family members,’ says Lorna (Picture: Supplied)

When Lorna, 32, was told she’d need IVF in August 2021, she took it upon herself to learn more about the process and soon discovered that she wasn’t alone in what she was going through. ‘A huge number of people were facing fertility issues and turning to science to give them a chance at a family and that’s what IVF is – a chance,’ she remembers.

However, although Lorna fit the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) recommendation that women under 40 should be offered three funded rounds of IVF, she and Jason were told they might have to wait months to find out if they were eligible – something she and Jason weren’t prepared to wait for.  

‘The NHS is backlogged with everything at the moment, which was part of the reason why we went private,’ she explains. ‘We couldn’t wait three years to have IVF on the NHS. There was also a chance we wouldn’t qualify for the funding because I was seen as high risk.’

Thankfully, the couple had some money saved that was meant to be going towards their home, which they instead invested in a round of private IVF treatment. However, sadly, it was unsuccessful.

‘On the day of the transfer, we got a call to say that the embryo had not continued to grow overnight, so it couldn’t be transferred,’ Lorna remembers. ‘This was probably one of the lowest points of our journey – I started to think that it may not happen for us.’ 

‘We couldn’t wait three years to have IVF on the NHS,’ says Lorna (Picture: Supplied)

Lorna and Jason proceeded to do three more rounds of egg collection – which cost £14,000 for the treatment plus around £3,000 for extra medication – in the hope that they could freeze some viable embryos.

‘We pulled together our savings, maxed out credit cards and even borrowed from family members,’ says Lorna. ‘It was really hard to have to spend all our savings. We had to make our finances stretch further, which meant we had to think carefully about what we spent our money on. The cost of living put added pressure on us. We had little to no money left over at the end of the month.

‘After the three rounds, we had one precious embryo frozen and this time, we made it to transfer.’

Although Lorna’s doctor had told her he believed there was a problem with the quality of her eggs, the couple remained optimistic. ‘Unfortunately, after a very long two week wait, we did a home pregnancy test that was negative. By this point we had paid over £30,000 for treatment,’ she explains.

‘It felt incredibly unfair that we had to spend a huge amount of money on something most people wouldn’t have to consider. We could afford the first round but when that failed, we thought we may not ever become parents, which was heartbreaking. There are no guarantees with IVF and at a certain point, it felt like we were throwing money (that we didn’t actually have) at a hopeless situation.’

The couple’s clinic suggested they try again with donor eggs. Although they both had well-paying jobs, the cost of their fertility journey was continuing to add up. ‘I went through counselling, which was more costly, but it helped me understand what was the best way forward for us. We decided to move forward with donor eggs but because of the rising (and incredibly long) wait times, we opted to do this next round of treatment abroad.’ 

‘It felt incredibly unfair that we had to spend a huge amount of money on something most people wouldn’t have to consider’ (Picture: Getty Images/Maskot)

According to a joint survey from Fertility Clinics Abroad and Fertility Network UK, 93% of respondents said they would consider fertility treatment overseas, with over two thirds saying they would go abroad because they believed that the treatments on offer are generally cheaper. Meanwhile, half believed that foreign clinics could offer higher success rates, while 46% said they would consider opting for fertility treatment abroad because of positive reports from other people. 

Lorna admits that there’s no way she and Jason would have been able to afford further fertility treatment in the UK. ‘The flights and accommodation were £7,000, which is less than half of the current price of fertility treatment in the UK,’ she says.

Now the couple finally have the happy ending they’ve always wanted – she is currently 16 weeks pregnant. 

Although Lorna says that it still doesn’t feel real after everything she and Jason have been through over the last three years, she feels lucky that their last round of donor egg IVF was successful. ‘We’ve always wanted more than one child so it’s great that we have a further seven embryos frozen,’ she explains. ‘I’m sure at some point in the future we will go through a transfer again.’

Reflecting on her journey over the past three years, Lorna acknowledges that the gap in fertility treatment along with the cost of living present a huge financial burden on couples who want to have a family. 

She believes that education around IVF and what it entails could be better. ‘Once you’ve paid for rounds privately, you can no longer access funding with the NHS, which is quite unfair,’ she says. ‘I’m not ashamed of our story but I’m also aware that it comes with a stigma. 1 in 7 couples are facing infertility and this number is only rising.’

Another worry for the couple is how the cost of living crisis will impact their finances, as they try to deal with the debt their in, from paying for IVF. ‘Having a family and children is expansion and we no longer have the backup of our savings,’ says Lorna. ‘It’s scary knowing that we will have the added cost of a child while continuing to pay off our debts. It has also made me think about cutting my maternity leave short, which means I’ll have to go back to work earlier than I initially would have liked.’

Natasha and her husband were only able to have one NHS-funded round of IVF (Picture: Supplied)

Natasha Wheedon, 34, tells Metro.co.uk that she also went private after miscarrying twice in 2019. Losing two babies in such a short space of time had an impact on her mental health, and her husband’s too. 

After taking some time to grieve and heal, the couple paid for private fertility testing where they discovered that her husband had a low sperm count and high DNA Fragmentation. Like Lorna, IVF was their only chance at having a family. ‘I was seen by Tommy’s where I was treated for low progesterone and hyperthyroidism – all of these issues could have had a part to play in our miscarriages,’  Natasha, an Advanced Paediatric Nurse Practitioner from Exeter, says. 

The couple had their first round of IVF in 2021. She was only offered one funded cycle, which sadly ended in a chemical miscarriage. The cost of living made an already long wait for treatment even longer. 

In spite of NICE’s recommendation of three funded cycles of IVF, Natasha and her husband had to save, beg and borrow funds for a second cycle. ‘We had to make a lot of financial sacrifices – we weren’t able to go out for meals or weekends away with friends. We also didn’t go abroad for four years,’ she explains.

For Natasha, the financial impact added to the stress she was experiencing. At this point in her journey, there were so many uncertainties. ‘I wish we didn’t have to make as many sacrifices as we did but we knew we were doing it for the one thing we wanted most in the world, which made it easier,’ she says.

The couple were given money as wedding presents so they could afford further fertility treatment (Picture: Supplied)

Natasha borrowed money from her parents for her second cycle, which unfortunately failed, and the process started to take a toll on Natasha and her husband, who got married in September 2022.

‘We were so stressed about it all,’ she admits. ‘We ran out of funds and weren’t able to try again until our wonderful wedding guests paid for our third cycle as a wedding present. If it wasn’t for them, we’d probably still be waiting and trying to save up.’ 

The cost of living left Natasha and her husband struggling to get funds together, meaning that they had less disposable income each month. She acknowledges that if the third attempt didn’t work, they would still be struggling to save for another one. ‘I can’t imagine how long that would have taken us in this current economic climate,’ she says.

While Natasha and her husband are currently pregnant with their third IVF cycle and feeling very grateful, it’s taken them four years to get here. 

Yet, despite the huge pressure it has put on the couple emotionally, Natasha admits that wouldn’t stop them from trying for another baby in the future. The only thing that might prevent their plans, she says, is the financial grind, especially considering how much they’ve been through over the past few years.

‘If we’re lucky enough to have this baby, we want to try for a sibling fairly promptly,’ she explains. ‘This is something we are saving for but not being able to save as much as we would like to hasn’t helped – all it does is put added stress on an already stressful situation.’

Natasha believes clinics should start affording staggered payment plans or different methods of payment for patients. At the moment, payment for IVF is required in one go – her story attests to the strain it puts on couples. 

She also feels that the levels of funding need to be addressed. ‘Currently, there’s an area in the UK that gets no cycles funded and the rest all vary between one to three cycles,’ she says. ‘People with the same diagnosis are being treated so differently, which isn’t fair. This wouldn’t happen with other medical conditions. The people who have the power to create change forget that infertility is a medical condition, and should be treated as such.’

‘We are deeply concerned about the devastating impact the cost-of-living crisis is having on fertility patients,’ says Gwenda Burns, Chief Executive of Fertility Network UK (Picture: Getty Images/EyeEm)

Both Lorna and Natasha’s stories highlight a gap in financial support for couples who are experiencing fertility issues. In a report produced by the Commonwealth Fund, the NHS was declared the world’s best healthcare system but the truth is that they still have a long way to go to provide couples with their desired fertility outcomes. 

‘We are deeply concerned about the devastating impact the cost-of-living crisis is having on fertility patients,’ Gwenda Burns, Chief Executive of Fertility Network UK, tells Metro.co.uk ‘Private IVF is extraordinarily expensive. It’s not surprising that patients who can’t access NHS-funded fertility services are now deciding they can’t afford to have a fresh IVF cycle or are delaying a frozen embryo transfer. We know how distressing this extra setback will be, especially when you’ve been struggling to become a parent for years and are all too aware that time is of the essence when it comes to fertility treatment.’

More: featured

‘I grew up with a famous parent… I will need therapy for the rest of my life’