‘Who’s going to give me our first Love Is Blind baby?’ she outwardly asked the contestants (Picture: ADAM ROSE/NETFLIX)

‘Congratulations!’ a family member said to me, hugging me in my wedding dress. 

‘It’ll be babies next,’ they soon added. 

I was stunned into laughter – rudely ripped from the glow of being a newlywed and being told that I looked beautiful. I couldn’t believe it.

Back in July 2019, the ink was barely dry on the marriage certificate when my ovaries became the subject of discussion. 

And on my very own wedding day. 

‘Don’t leave it too long, mind,’ they added, after I felt forced to mention that we were looking at babies ‘within the next five or so years’ – as if it mattered, or I owed an explanation to anyone.

I was 27, and deeply personal issues like my fertility and body clock were being tossed around as casually as that day’s confetti.

It reeked of discomfort and archaism, just like Vanessa Lachey’s latest, and (quite frankly) embarrassing comments on ‘baby timelines’ in this year’s Love Is Blind reunion episode.

It’s wildly insensitive to not only presume that someone who is married must definitely want children, but to then ask ‘when’ they’re thinking about having them

This season has been dramatic watching, to say the least – with a record number of both marriages, and love triangles. And the reunion wasn’t without its fair share of it, too.

But all co-host, and wife of 17 years to Nick Lachey, seemed to be concerned about was when the married contestants were going to pop out babies.

‘Auntie Vanessa is still hoping for that Love Is Blind baby,’ she announced, towards the end of the episode, before being awkwardly ignored by the cast, and audience – with husband Nick trying to change the topic.

But, she was determined.

‘Who’s going to give me our first Love Is Blind baby?’ she outwardly asked the contestants. ‘I don’t want to ask if you’re trying because that’s TMI,’ she added, as if trying to save herself – but then directly asked a couple: ‘What are you guys thinking on the baby timeline?’

‘Baby timeline?’ I scoffed aloud.

Safe to say that I inwardly squirmed. I cringed so hard that my apparently wasted ovaries felt it.

Lachey almost confirmed that ‘when’ you have children, it’s the be-all-and-end-all to marriage – with no exceptions (Picture: ADAM ROSE/NETFLIX)

‘We’re really just trying to enjoy our marriage,’ season four contestant, Tiffany, told her. ‘We’re travelling the world, we’re still trying to get to know one another,’ she explained, adding: ‘We want to have our lives set before we bring a life into this world.’ 

Her husband, Brett, on the other hand rightly said: ‘Jesus y’all really put on the baby pressure. My god.’

‘We’re loving life together-’ he started saying, before Vanessa rudely interrupted with: ‘But Brett how cute are baby Air Force 1s gonna be?’ referring to his job at Nike as a design director. 

It was so uncomfortable to hear and see essentially a bunch of strangers to Lachey be asked such a deeply personal question. Right then, I knew exactly how they felt.

I know how it feels to be newly married, and hear family members question your fertility, and your future – without even stopping to realise that you might not even know yet. 

Without even giving you a breather to enjoy life as a newlywed – to discover and constantly learn about yourself, your soulmate, and decide whether or not you want to have a family.

But what I take the most offence at though is Lachey’s assumption that these couples, fresh from the aisle, are *definitely* going to have babies. 

To her, it’s not a question of ‘if’, but ‘when’ – framing it as a ‘baby timeline’, and not a ‘potential’. 

‘We’re gonna let it happen when it needs to happen,’ married couple Chelsea and Kwame responded, before another added that they were ‘still talking about when that time is’ but were ‘really excited for it’.

I know how it feels to be newly married, and hear family members question your fertility, and your future (Picture: Forgetmeknot images)

After apparently being disappointed with there being no pitter patters of tiny, be-sneakered feet, Vanessa added:‘ I think you guys are right to settle in as a couple and create that foundation.’ 

It was a poor attempt at backtracking, but it worked, until…

‘But it does get pretty awesome when you have kids,’ she smiled at the camera, and was met with an awkward clap from the studio audience.

Lachey almost confirmed that ‘when’ you have children, it’s the be-all-and-end-all to marriage – with no exceptions. That babies are an obvious choice that married couples are bound to make. 

To me, after getting married, it felt like I was already firmly rooted in this prescribed ‘timeline’ for my life – and that babies were the natural next step.

That I needed to have them sharpish, or I was going to get ‘too old’ to have them. That it couldn’t leave it ‘too late’.

I’m here to tell you to stop asking people, married or not, when they’re having children. In fact, stopping asking anyone ‘if’ they’re having children, at all.

Frankly, it’s none of your business.

Luckily, I want to become a parent – it’s a conversation my husband and I have all the time. We’ve had it for years. But it’s a conversation for us and us only – and I’m not naive enough to know that it might never even happen. 

What if I was infertile, and didn’t know it yet? What if I change my mind? What if, after all, I wanted to be childless?

That’s my prerogative, and no one else’s.

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It’s wildly insensitive to not only presume that someone who is married must definitely want children, but to then ask ‘when’ they’re thinking about having them. 

Look, I know it’s for television, and it’s showbiz – with presenters forced to ask these ‘burning questions’. But why are we so utterly obsessed with the concept of parenting?

Women are not destined to only be wives and mothers, just like not everyone – married or not – is destined to have a child.

Lachey’s questions are based on an old fashioned rhetoric that needs to be cancelled like season two’s Shake Chatterjee.

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I was asked on my own wedding day when I was having babies.